My last message to the world

In short I wanted some records of my feelings and a message to my children. I’m very hurt right now. I’ve tried all month to come up with my rent and I’ve been unable to do so. Do I work, yes, but it just is never enough. This time tomorrow I’m certain the home will be lost not to mention the water will be off soon. I can not continue to live in fear. My children, 11, 9, and 5, I love you. I wont mention your name to embarrass you but mommy tried everything she can. Stay in school and be the best you can be. Never give up on your dreams, remember GOD loves you, and don’t ever think I abandoned you. I already owe granny money and I just can’t look at you knowing I have nowhere for you to go. I don’t have anyone to talk to. When I try to talk to my friends your dad gets mad and says I put people in my business. I even tried to sugar daddy sites but no one wants to give me the full 1600 that I need. I’ve been trying all month to come up with the money but I can’t and I’m sorry. I can’t sleep, I snap at you, all I do is cry and you deserve better. I will kiss you in the morning and tell you that I love you and I need you to walk home from school because I won’t be there to pick you up. I’m so alone right now. There are so many rich people in the world and they don’t understand while they shop for fancy shoes that there are people who would kill to be in their place. It’s not fair. I don’t know why this is me. I know GOD loves me and I haven’t already been right. HE is good and nothing is HIS fault I’m just hurt and I don’t understnad why. Why do irrispnsible people have it easy.I’m afraid to leave you, but more afraid to have you homeless. I’m an embarrasement and a failure, all be it wrapped up in a pretty package. No one wants to help me. Everyone wants to hear your sad story. i go now.